military

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My Trip Back Home

Whoaaa where have I been?! I was MIA the past two weeks, first because I was sick post-Miami, and then because I went home to Northern VA for the whole 4th of July week. I have yet to fully recover from either…

That being said, the trip was very successful, despite my forgetting the fact that just because Chuck and I had the whole week off, doesn’t mean everyone else did. We still managed to see *almost* everyone from both of our social groups, which almost never happens… so I’m pretty happy about that (just ignore the fact that all the pics I’m posting are only of my friends, ha!)

Anyway, our visit also happened to be during the heat wave of 100+ degrees and no power (post Crazy Thunderstorm of 2012), and fortunately for us, Chuck’s parents (our hotel service) were among the fortunate few with power. The excessive heat made for too much sweating for my taste, but also for lots of pool time! I’d forgotten how much I’ve missed the pool. The beach is nice, but sometimes it’s great to take a dip and not deal with sand and overly-aggressive waves bitch-slapping me in the face and ripping off my bikini. 🙂

4th of July itself was awesome. It didn’t consist of the usual high-end, pretentious Georgetown mansion and yacht parties I’ve attended in the past (those invites suddenly stopped once I got hitched), but of low-key BBQ’s and poolside lounging instead. The fireworks in particular were special for me this year. Last year I watched at the USMC Iwo Jima Memorial, while Chuck was in Afghanistan. Fireworks – particularly ones associated with patriotic pride – always have a way of making me cry, and it was only more emotional with Chuck gone. As fate would have it, I got a phone call from him last year, right in the midst of it. This year, I watched from the same spot, with Chuck actually by my side. Like I said – truly special!

We wrapped up the whirlwind week with a HinJew wedding on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. That’s right folks, you heard it right – a Hindu and Jewish wedding! It was such a fun experience, despite the suffocating heat and a few travel mishaps along the way (exacerbated by the fact we were traveling with a miserable feline.) I learned a lot and it was simply beautiful. Better yet – I got to see even more great friends, and danced the night away with them like old times.

Ultimately, I came away from the week realizing a few things. 1) Old friends are one of life’s truest joys and it’s always good to go back home. 2) Some things never change. 3) Almost everything else does change. 4) At the end of the day (or at the end of a nostalgic week going back) I can see that I am exactly where I need to be to move forward – here, in NC with my husband, starting a new life together.

People tend to fear change, but Life isn’t meant to be static and redundant. It’s truly dynamic. You have your constants for sure, but the river keeps flowing and very little is guaranteed. As I reunited with college friends, work friends, and miscellaneous hometown friends, Chuck and I both saw that while we still all have each other to an extent, we are also exploring different paths…Doing our own thing… Moving in various directions..embracing change. We aren’t all so reliant on each other anymore. It’s not like the old days – some things are not quite like they used to be. And yet, we are all more enriched as individuals because of it. Bloom where you’re planted. Always.

I don’t know if that made any sense out loud, but it did in my head… Anyway. Done waxing poetic now 🙂

This past weekend I attended a “dining-in”, an age-old military tradition. Chuck wasn’t able to attend (he was on Mancation with childhood buddies this week in VA – hence my pseudo-“date” pictured above hehe), so I really wasn’t sure what to expect. After initially being really weirded out, I had so much fun! It’s kind of like a roast – and a blend of old-fashioned (practically medieval) language, formal toasts, and traditional practices combined with inside jokes and modern fun. Kinda hard to explain unless you’ve been to one, but it was a great time.

It was one of those rare occasions when, as a spouse, you get some insight into what this all means to your Marines. We (or at least I) spend so much time complaining, worrying, and dealing with the pain-in-the-ass aspects of being part of the military family, but it was really cool to see how special it actually is. The camaraderie, the fellowship, the tradition, the responsibility, the devotion… it was awesome. It gave me many of those “this is why they do this… no, this is why WE do this” moments.

Of course, it helped that the guest of honor (a USMC Colonel) gave a wonderful speech celebrating the military spouse. And, it wasn’t the cliched “thank you for your sacrifice, we couldn’t do it without you” rundown (I hate that BS, because it would probably actually make your job easier in many ways if you didn’t have us to worry about.)

Instead, he was was very specific and relatable, keeping it about our experience, rather than theirs. “You laud our accomplishments and support our aspirations while setting aside, delaying, or completely sacrificing your own… You take care of everything we would take care of in our absence, act as single moms, endure with minimal support in far from home, and we know we can’t ever forget that.” He really hit it where I feel it, at least.

Of course, the Marines are the ones who live and breathe the ultimate sacrifice, but it’s also a job of glory. The spouse’s role can feel a great deal more thankless…futile… unrecognized, stereotyped, and lonely, while our husbands get their medals, recognition, and career advancement. It can be very rewarding of course (I am always so proud of Chuck, and I am also thankful for what the military provides, from steady income, to health coverage, to security), but it’s nice to have the truly tricky parts recognized by someone at that level.

Anyways, it was a fabulous time, and made me feel better than ever in my role as a Marine wife, from every perspective. 🙂