Month: February 2014

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How I’ve learned to make the most of friendship…

It seems as though a lot of my fellow Tumblies are dealing with loneliness, and the depression that comes with loneliness. They wish they had more friends, and more things to do on the weekends. They wonder if it’s them, or if it’s the world around them. I’ve been on both sides of the popularity spectrum – the smart nerd with no friends, and the social butterfly with tons of friends – and I can safely say that both experiences were isolating in their own way. I felt bad about myself (and in some cases, about those around me too) in both scenarios. Even when I had lots of friends, I still often felt very alone.

I think this means that what it all really boils down to is the relationship you have with yourself – which, of course, is a continual work in progress for most of us. I know it’s cliche, but I think it’s true. The more I enjoy time with myself (which I like now more than I ever used to), the more I enjoy time with other people, and appreciate what we bring to each other’s lives.

I am more comfortable these days with some of the deeper aspects of myself, and the obstacles I face. As I get better at that, it matters less to me how many or how few friends I have, or how many options of things to do I have on the weekends, whereas before, I was rather defined by my social life (or lack thereof.) If you put that much stock in what other people can do for you, they will always disappoint you (and you will continue to disappoint yourself..)

I am probably not making much sense – and I don’t by any means want to take away from the incredible value of friendship – but this is just random food for thought on a lazy Saturday evening, as I read what some others are going through…

The most beautiful #valentine I have ever received! Chuck has a little competition this year, don’t cha think? 😊💖 @wendy_j_li #pink #love #pretty #diy #papercrafts #snailmail

Leave Kitty Alone!

This kind of stuff really gets my goat! I am seeing it everywhere – this mission to convince cat owners that their beloved fur babies don’t REALLY love you as much as we’d like to think. I get that it’s all a part of the age-old, semi-good-natured cats vs. dogs debate, but I just want to rant about how wrong it is anyway.

First off – I watched the video on the study done that shows dogs miss you and fawn over you after a brief absence, while a cat doesn’t seem to care. All this proves is that cats are more independent and less needy than dogs. That’s not to say dogs are bad – everyone loves that kind of adoration – but for goodness sake, it doesn’t mean your cat doesn’t love you. It just has less separation anxiety because it’s a more mature and self sufficient animal. Having been away from my cat anywhere between 8 to 72+ hours, she is ALWAYS there to greet me at the door with a pleasant chirp, soft affection, and better yet, NO slobber… even when her food dish is full!!

She missed me, dammit.

Second – anyone who thinks that dogs don’t love you for the food has clearly never had a dog. I grew up with a wonderful golden retriever whom I loved dearly, but I swear, that dog would have taken food from me even if I was starving to death. Dogs beg for food more than cats do! Dogs rely on humans for food more than cats do!! My dog would wake me up for food and interrupt my TV show for food and get me out of my death bed for food! Far more obsessive than any cat I’ve ever had. Sheesh.

So, as always, my disclaimer is thus: even though I am a self-professed crazy cat lady, I LOVE dogs. I grew up with them. I don’t think they are inferior to cats. They are just different. But all the cat hate irks me! Stop spreading untruths!