Summer Sprouting

No, Hell didn’t freeze over, nor can pigs fly… but this summer, Chuck and I learned that we are expecting a baby boy in February!

Although this was a planned pregnancy, I think we managed to surprise just about everyone. My uncertainty over the years about having children is not exactly a secret, and although I never said “never”, I think most assumed that by this point — 11 years married — that ship had likely sailed.

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Re: Babies

I know about 8 women right now who either just had babies, or are expecting them by the end of the year. My Facebook newsfeed is riddled with baby updates – “It’s a boy!”, “Here’s my 16 week baby-bump!”, “Arrrghh omgdjkaiej#kaei&x NEED sushi!” and “Ready to pop!” Images of expensively decorated nurseries are springing up all over my Pinterest boards (among expectant moms and non-expectants alike.) Conversations at social events 99.9% of the time turn to babies or pregnancy, and of course, there’s the increasing barrage of “you’re next!” whenever I smile, nod, and question my way through these conversations.

I feel like most normal women in my situation would start getting maternal urges, especially with all these cute pictures and warm n’ fuzzies the new parents gush about. How bad is it, on a scale of 1-10, that I’ve barely experienced a single twinge of it? I’m not old, but I’m not young either, and I don’t feel anywhere near ready to be a mom. And yet, I am aware that I don’t have all the time in the world to procrastinate on the issue, either. I went to visit a friend’s newborn last night with Chuck, and I felt so uncomfortable trying to hold him and support his wobbly, gooey little head! He was a sweet and easy baby, but I didn’t get any warm n’ fuzzies myself…

I feel like I will eventually want one. Family is a beautiful thing – I want one. And, I do admit that I have a running list of boy and girl names in the Notepad app of my iPhone (I love names.) I think I just want to skip the baby part… post-potty training, post spewing bodily fluids everywhere… Luckily, Chuck isn’t pressuring me to have one yet. Both of our parents are urging us to wait. Socially, however, the pressure is everywhere (oddly enough!) Plus, the more I learn about the process – from the first trimester through those terrible twos – the more I am turned off in general.

Is it bad that I find pictures of kittens (and puppies) way cuter than pictures of babies? Is it bad that in real life, I find kittens way cuter than babies? LOL. Ugh, I am a lost cause.