One thing I’ve learned about being a military wife is that people will say all sorts of things with the honest intention of helping me feel better… but somehow it misses the mark. I’ve narrowed it down to the Annoying Top 3:
1) “I could never do it! I’m so impressed you can stay faithful.”
This cheapens my relationship (and yours) to sex. If you truly loved him enough, you could definitely do it. I swear I’m not weird or crazy. 🙂
2) “You knew what you were getting into when you married him.”
There’s got to be a better way to tell me you don’t want to hear me share what I’m going through or about the surprises I encounter… which I thought friendships were for, but whatever, I get the picture.
3) “You’re already at X months? Wow, it’s going by SO quickly!”
This one is particularly awkward for me to hear, and ironically it’s also the most well-intentioned – so I don’t get hard feelings. Seriously though… I’m glad my husband being away/in danger/out of touch has gone quickly for you…but unless I say it first, I wouldn’t go there.
Again, all these things are never meant in a bad way, but having received each in quite a few variations, it just makes me shut up and shuffle away to my corner, feeling stupid. I guess it’s one of those things that people don’t quite “get” unless they’re going through it.
And it’s something I should remember too, when friends share with me. We all experience our own little battles, that’s for sure.