Child: *Points to Beware of Zombie sign on our door* Are there zombies in your house?
Me: *Taken aback that child is addressing me* Why yes – this house is full of zombies, so be careful.
Child: I wanna see.
Me: Umm. Well if they see you they will eat you. *Pats self on back for remembering that’s how zombies operate*
Child: I wanna see!
Me: But they’ll eat you…
Me: *Shuffles uncomfortably* Well, we don’t want to be held liable if you get eaten, kid…
*Child rolls eyes*
I am so terrible with children. And keeping the magic alive. And zombies.

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