awkward

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Child: *Points to Beware of Zombie sign on our door* Are there zombies in your house?
Me: *Taken aback that child is addressing me* Why yes – this house is full of zombies, so be careful.
Child: I wanna see.
Me: Umm. Well if they see you they will eat you. *Pats self on back for remembering that’s how zombies operate*
Child: I wanna see!
Me: But they’ll eat you…
Child: I WANNA SEE!
Me: *Shuffles uncomfortably* Well, we don’t want to be held liable if you get eaten, kid…
*Child rolls eyes*
I am so terrible with children. And keeping the magic alive. And zombies.

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You Can Tell I’m From DC When…

… I make an unpatriotic ass of myself here in the South.

I was doing some last minute Christmas shopping at the Cotton Exchange downtown last night, when another young professional-looking girl stopped me to ask for some advice on her White Elephant/Secret Santa gift. She had a number of paper weights in front of her and couldn’t decide which to get.

I pointed at the red, white, and blue frog that said “Proud to be an American” on it, and without even thinking, said “Well I wouldn’t get that one.”

“Why?” she asked.

Just as I said something along the lines of “Someone may get offended,” I realized how ridiculous I sounded. “Oh…” she said, clearly dumbfounded, and slightly offended herself. “I would never think of that. You think so? I don’t think so.”

“I’m from DC,” I said defensively. “We’re overly PC up there…Sorry…You’re right.”

I was so embarrassed and scuttled away. Definite heartless Yankee moment. I’m disturbed that I’m actually that brainwashed!