Life & Love

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For the Love of Leopard Stilettos

A few years ago, I made the most amazing discovery at TJ Maxx: Guess leopard print heels for only $35.99. They had the added bonus of not only being smokin’ hot, but mega comfortable (as comfortable as 3.5-4 inch heels can get, of course.) They were the type of shoes that looked super sexy with a mini LBD for a night on the town, but could also pass for office wear with a toned down neutral outfit, for just a touch of added spice. I knew they were appropriate for work because even the snooty women at work complimented them all the time, instead of turning me into HR (which has actually happened before, for my “color choices”, but that’s another story.)

Alas, after 3 years rocking these heels on a regular basis, at work and at play, I did the unthinkable – I lost them during my move out from my apartment in Arlington. I last wore them for my bachelorette party in Atlantic City, and never saw them again. I didn’t see them moving out, and I didn’t see them moving into my new home in NC. I’m pretty sure they were in a cluster of bags, mostly filled with trash, and I just got them mixed in and threw them out (along with my wedding veil, one week before the wedding, but that’s another story.)

Ever since, I have sought a replacement pair. But, there’s just nothing that comes close. I thought I found it with these sassy little things from ShoeDazzle, but as it turns out, they are far too stripper-ish for the versatile wear I enjoyed with the originals.  Since when does EVERY cute shoe have to be over 5 inches tall and include a large platform?

Sigh. The search continues…

Had another great weekend with an old friend! Mimi and I go back to sophomore year of college, where we were the dorks serving on Brown Hall Council at W&M. We spent junior and senior years as RA’s (pretty bad ones, I might add), then both ended up working and living the yuppie lifestyle in Northern VA, where she still lives and works. She was also a bridesmaid in Chuck’s and my wedding. The weather turned out less than beach-friendly for her visit, but we still had fun with the beach bars, restaurants, and the Pirates of the Caribbean ship in Downtown Wilmington! I’m loving that friends are coming to visit me. I always feel bad when I go up to DC for a visit, and have to squeeze so many people in that I barely get quality time with anyone. So, it’s nice that we are not so far away from home that visits are still reasonable. 🙂

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Wedding Pictures Galore

When I planned my wedding last fall (sans husband, who – naturally – was deployed), I did all I could to cut corners when it came to our budget. We paid for most of the wedding and honeymoon ourselves, so I was always looking for a good deal. On most things, I’m proud to say that I found those bargains – to include my photographer, who was an old acquaintance of mine from my Bad Kitty days.

Sadly, he was the only cut-corner that didn’t quite live up to expectations, but between his photos, and those of friends and family with some kick-ass cameras, I have salvaged the situation and gotten some decent gems.

Of course, this meant going through AND editing hundreds of them myself (which is probably why I’ve had a headache all week) but I’m kind of proud of the way they turned out, considering the way they were. It was fun! I’ve always loved playing with pictures, and taking them too. Makes me think I shoud get into wedding/couple photography on my own. Hmm. 🙂

Anyway, despite being sick of looking at them at this point (ha), I’m including a handful of favorites that I compressed and put into collage form to save space (so they may be a bit distorted/blurry.) It really was such a beautiful day, with the most amazing people, if I do say so myself!

                       ~ October 8, 2011 – Arlington & Fairfax, Virginia ~

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On Mother’s Day…

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there – I am lucky to know so many great ones! I don’t like to get too depressing or emo on here, but of course I’ve been thinking about my own mother, and missing her…because overall, it feels like I don’t have one.

My mother is alive, but not well – and not in the traditional sense. In many ways it would be much simpler if she was dying of some physical ailment, but instead, she’s suffering from debilitating mental illness, which is equally as real and even more horrifying in its manifestation – not to mention far more damaging to our relationships, self-esteem, and family as a whole…

It’s a long, confusing story that basically comes down to paranoid delusional and psychotic disorders, suicide attempts, depression, and anxiety. The worst part of it is that she doesn’t think she’s sick, refuses treatment, and has shut my dad, sister, and I out because she thinks we have contributed to or downright caused her delusional state of misery, fear, and loneliness. Worse yet – I can barely remember a time when she was happy, and what made her great as a mom (because once upon a time, she was…)

Anyway, I don’t want to dwell much on the matter, and I don’t want to pity myself. It’s truly her that suffers most. I just wanted say how much I miss her, and struggle to remember better times while also trying to move on and accept that she will never get better, but most likely worse… continuing to cope with the fact that she blames me for her situation, and however much I know intellectually that it’s not real, it is very real to her… and that’s all that really matters. Unfortunately, her reality drives this, not ours. In her mind, I have hurt her, and we both have to live with that.

Mom, you are far from us physically, mentally, and emotionally, but even though I try to forget you and all that has happened, I will always love you. Happy Mother’s Day ❤

I love it when my old and new worlds collide!! This past weekend, my good friend Laura came to visit from DC. We had so much fun enjoying the beach, downtown Wilmington, and a rousing Cinco de Mayo party in the midst of a southern thunderstorm. Ole!

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Summer Lovin’

I just want to do this allllll day.

Not sure why I’m all curled up (must’ve been a bit chilly), but here’s my version of my boat-loving days in Georgetown…Pinkberry and all haha.. sigh.

Someday, I will have a boat of my own, and it will be named The Bad Kitty (kidding… sort of…lol) But in the meantime, I need to find someone down here who has one so I can just invite myself over every weekend 😉

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Seven reasons you should reach out to every person…

slowdowncafe reblogged socalfeminist:

Seven reasons you should reach out to every person ever.

1.)  We’re all alone well, kind of.  This sounds grim, but it’s not! There is a freedom in realizing and embracing the fact that at the end of the day you’re sitting in your own skin with your own thoughts and realities.  One of the most beautiful parts of being alive and continually pushed into the world is knowing that every single person on the planet also goes to bed in their own skin, with their own thoughts and realities.  Learning and exploring new people offers you the opportunity to change some wobbly realities you’ve created and equally allows you to challenge someone else’s.

2.)  Everyone wants to be loved. I believe this from the very bottom of my heart.  Some people spend whole lifetimes trying to deny themselves the magic and wonder of being loved.  The world is weird, man.  People are becoming increasingly disconnected from other people and I can only conclude that this is because of an underlying fear of really sharing ones self with another soul.  Its scary, but even if you open that door and subsequently have to shut it, I guarantee your heart is better for it.

3.)  People are really weird. Some of the most amazing and inspirational people I have ever met are also the weirdest.  The old saying “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” couldn’t be more true.  Some people who appear to be so transparent can sometimes end up being the most hidden.  And some of the most nondescript can end up being the most magical and unhinged.

4.)  You’re not better than anyone. This is not a race, y’all.  I had a crash course lesson in this when I was 16 years old.  Suddenly I realized that competing against the world at large would only bring me misery, and worse off, would be a complete waste of my precious time in this brilliant and bizarre world.  Quit comparing.  Quit hiding yourself.  There’s always someone who is more _______than you.  Find yourself and love the s**t out of it.  If you can’t- who will?

5.)  Mean people are just fearful. It’s hard to not return rudeness with rudeness.  I’ve slowly learned this since moving to the east coast.  But if she’s rude to you, and you’re rude to her where do you end up? Next time someone is mean to you or cruel, remind yourself that that person is just fighting a battle they haven’t overcome yet and that most likely, that s**t aint yours to bother with.  Let it go and it will let go of you.

6.)  Everyone’s a teacher. At some point you realize that you’re an eternal student. People all around you are here to show you something new.  Listen to other people.  When you are most convicted about your own beliefs it is a prime opportunity to step back for a moment, truly listen to the other side and work out whether or not you subscribe to their belief or sentiment. You’ve changed people’s minds about a lot of things, let them change yours.

7.)  Being tender and open is beautiful.  As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed.  Too sensitive.  Too mushy.  Too wishy washy. Blah blah.  Don’t let someone steal your tenderness.  Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart.  Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep…feel it all – look around you- all of this is for you.  Take it and have gratitude.  Give it and feel love.

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My Carolina Bucket List

In the process of learning to bloom where I’m planted and embrace my new home, I have made a list of things I want to do while we live in this area, big and small. For the things that seem insignificant – or like I could do that anywhere – they make the list mostly because it’s way cheaper to do it down here… and I have the time I never had before. 🙂

– Attend a few ballroom dancing classes. I’d love to focus on swing and tango. Better yet, Chuck is actually open to this idea!

– Hit up Myrtle Beach Safari down in South Carolina. Just 2-ish hours away, and I get to fulfill my lifelong dream of holding a baby tiger!! OMG.

– Eat at the one authentically French restaurant I’ve found in the entire Wilmington to Jacksonville area, Caprice Bistro. It’s not cheap, but I have yet to find a bad review, and it’s on the riverfront. Bien sur, c’est bon!

– Road trip to Charleston, SC to take the scandalous ”Dark Side of Charleston – Rated R” tour – or any of the ghost tours, for that matter. I briefly visited Charleston once, for a wedding this past November, and I must go back! Oh, and I love scandal. And ghost tours.

– Go shootin’. Seriously, I’m married to a Marine, and I’ve never been to a shooting range!

– Take a romantic and luxurious B&B getaway with Chuck in Savannah, Georgia…just for a weekend. Like here or here or even here. Gahhh. Or maybe here. Then, I’ll hunt down some Paula Deen comfort food. Yum!

– Girls’ trip to Raleigh. I hear it’s fun, artsy, and the shopping is pretty amazing. And around here, let’s face it – I am truly shopping deprived.

That’s my current list, but I’m fairly certain it will grow as I learn more about what the area has to offer. I’ve been feeling so much more positive lately (the new job + arrival of summer helps!) and just ready to take things in stride. I have a tendency to complain, and then leave a place/situation, only to look back and realize it was great and that I got so much out of it. We’ve got at least another year here, so I plan to take full advantage of it!