military life

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Le Bored at Work…

… so I am researching Ukraine. Random? Maybe. It’s about that time for Chuck and I to start the early stages of plotting our escape from Coastal Carolina, and (among other things) we are looking at international/language billets.

Of the options provided, Chuck ranked 1) Russian (Ukraine), 2) Thai, and 3) Chinese. I probably would have swapped the third for Peru or something, to avoid two Southeast Asian options and mix it up a bit, but whatever. I wanted something French, but Senegal wasn’t really what I had in mind…

I don’t think odds are ever heavily in our favor to get what we want or plan for, but it gives me something to occupy my obsessive brain with these days – I just don’t want to jinx it! If we get a billet like that, I plan to learn the language with Chuck so that I can get everything possible out of the experience. I figure if we are doing the military thing, I am down for something a little crazy – even if it continues to hold me back professionally a little longer. I would love to live abroad for a bit!

Although who knows – I could find something really cool/random to do in Ukraine. There are still wayyy too many unknowns at this point to truly plan anything (even our anniversary trip – Chuck’s deployment details literally change daily, argh), but I’m learning lots. Did you know the Ukraine military is the second largest in all of Europe after Russia??! I sure didn’t!!

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TGIF!

This weekend will be among the few (if not the only one) I’ve had all summer with NO commitments!! Between visitors and trips, I’m pretty pooped. I need to keep answering that nagging “What ever am I going to do??!” question with a big fat hearty “Nothing!”

Although, I have come to realize that I kind of suck at doing nothing… Maybe I’ll start up the job search again. Since Chuck is deploying to Afghanistan again this fall, I will be here in NC through next summer, instead of til spring. My current job ends in September, so I MUST find something to do while he is away.

I recently scored an interview for a position at UNCW, but got rejected. I’ve never been denied a job of any kind after an interview, except when I was in high school and interviewing for Abercrombie and Fitch – but that’s because my mom made me wear Banana Republic, gave me poodle curls, and said “always look classy for an interview.” I’m sure you can imagine that went over well, with the well-branded, torn denim-clad hiring managers at A&F…

Anyway, the rejection from UNCW stung more than expected and discouraged me all over again. I knew it was competitive from the start, but getting turned down for an admin job bites. I’ve got a whole year to work with though, so I’m going to keep trying. I feel guilty knowing I won’t be here longer than that, but what else can I do? 😦 Admin jobs have high turnover anyway, right? I will go crazy if I can only work 10 hours per week at the pharmacy.

Anyhoo, that was a digression, but back to my original point… TGIF!!! Here’s to doing (almost) nothing 🙂

Tonight, Chuck and his Marine buddies are over celebrating one of their favorite former Major’s return to town. It’s me and about 8-10 Marines. Chuck also brought home the lovely painting of the sassy Seniorita above, regaling me with tales about how she dates back to World War II in his Battalion’s history – snagged from the Philippines by some long gone war hero – returned to the Battalion after said war hero’s death, by his grieving widow – on display in the Battalion offices ever since.

Turns out, that story is pure folklore, and the returning Major actually stole it from a Mexican restaurant out in California during training (he did try to buy it from the restaurant, but they refused to sell, so he ran off with it after leaving $50 on the table.) She’s been on deployment to Afghanistan with the Battalion since – stolen by other Battalions, and put up for ransom before finally being recovered. She goes solely by “Seniorita.”

It’s still a pretty cool story, but I’m a bit hostile to this mysterious, exotic babe hanging out in my living room, who has such a special place in these guys’ hearts…

…she’s pretty hot.

This past weekend I attended a “dining-in”, an age-old military tradition. Chuck wasn’t able to attend (he was on Mancation with childhood buddies this week in VA – hence my pseudo-“date” pictured above hehe), so I really wasn’t sure what to expect. After initially being really weirded out, I had so much fun! It’s kind of like a roast – and a blend of old-fashioned (practically medieval) language, formal toasts, and traditional practices combined with inside jokes and modern fun. Kinda hard to explain unless you’ve been to one, but it was a great time.

It was one of those rare occasions when, as a spouse, you get some insight into what this all means to your Marines. We (or at least I) spend so much time complaining, worrying, and dealing with the pain-in-the-ass aspects of being part of the military family, but it was really cool to see how special it actually is. The camaraderie, the fellowship, the tradition, the responsibility, the devotion… it was awesome. It gave me many of those “this is why they do this… no, this is why WE do this” moments.

Of course, it helped that the guest of honor (a USMC Colonel) gave a wonderful speech celebrating the military spouse. And, it wasn’t the cliched “thank you for your sacrifice, we couldn’t do it without you” rundown (I hate that BS, because it would probably actually make your job easier in many ways if you didn’t have us to worry about.)

Instead, he was was very specific and relatable, keeping it about our experience, rather than theirs. “You laud our accomplishments and support our aspirations while setting aside, delaying, or completely sacrificing your own… You take care of everything we would take care of in our absence, act as single moms, endure with minimal support in far from home, and we know we can’t ever forget that.” He really hit it where I feel it, at least.

Of course, the Marines are the ones who live and breathe the ultimate sacrifice, but it’s also a job of glory. The spouse’s role can feel a great deal more thankless…futile… unrecognized, stereotyped, and lonely, while our husbands get their medals, recognition, and career advancement. It can be very rewarding of course (I am always so proud of Chuck, and I am also thankful for what the military provides, from steady income, to health coverage, to security), but it’s nice to have the truly tricky parts recognized by someone at that level.

Anyways, it was a fabulous time, and made me feel better than ever in my role as a Marine wife, from every perspective. 🙂

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Musing About the Value of a Master’s Degree…

So, about a week ago, I paid off the last of my undergraduate loan (woohoo!) It was painful, considering I had no idea that I’d spent the past 5 years paying off mere interest ONLY, so Chuck and I made the decision to hit it hard and just pay it off in large chunks and eliminate the principle altogether. It stung, but at least it’s over with, and we can enjoy being officially debt-free.

But of course, now I’m thinking more than ever about my “next steps” in higher education. A master’s degree is increasingly becoming the new status quo, and I do feel the need for one, and even the desire (my own ego is at stake here, ha!) I enjoyed school, I’m more focused now, and I would like to expand my knowledge base and work my brain again. Also, any halfway decent jobs I find in this area “prefer” masters degrees (oddly enough), so I honestly think it would make me look more appealing, regardless of how much actual work experience I’ve had.

At the same time, I’m still as fuzzy as ever in knowing what to do with my life, and how much I value a big fancy career, as opposed to just working and being productive and finding happiness outside of work. As discussed before, military life makes this exponentially more difficult. If I go back to the basics (“What do you like?”), my academic interests still lie in foreign affairs, international studies, and the news. I still love that shiz! I could see myself in the CIA, or at the State Department, or at USAID… doing communications, management, planning, or policy.

But of course, those tracks require being in DC, for the most part. Otherwise, they will require travel to all kinds of “exotic” locations that are certainly not compatible with the demands of my husband’s career (you can’t have two tricky ones!!) I may not want to travel like a maniac to far corners of the earth in my 30’s anyway…

So, I’m thinking MBA lately. It may be cliche, but it’s versatile. I can use it if I go back to consulting, and I could use it if I get into hospital or university management (two things I honestly think I would enjoy, and take around with me.) It wouldn’t interest me as much as a variety of other degrees would, but it’s functional, and let’s face it – practicality trumps all at this point! It fits well into the resume I already have, and I’m sure I could use it in a government setting as well.

The other issue is COST. Ugh. I hate the idea of going back into debt – bleeding money instead of making it. School is so freaking expensive these days. I was looking at one program that charges $1500 per CREDIT HOUR. No freaking way. It was a pretty reputable school, but seriously… how low do I have to stoop so I can afford to go? Even the lower ranked schools cost a small fortune 😦

Anyways, as always – just trying to figure out and balance what I want vs. what I need vs. what I should do vs. what Icando vs. what I actually care and don’t care about.  I don’t know why I still try so hard to have a life plan – I should probably just continue to wing it – throw caution to the wind and trust that I’m smart and will get by no matter what winds come our way. Life doesn’t always have to be so by the book…

I mean hey, it’s worked so far, right?

…

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Wedding Pictures Galore

When I planned my wedding last fall (sans husband, who – naturally – was deployed), I did all I could to cut corners when it came to our budget. We paid for most of the wedding and honeymoon ourselves, so I was always looking for a good deal. On most things, I’m proud to say that I found those bargains – to include my photographer, who was an old acquaintance of mine from my Bad Kitty days.

Sadly, he was the only cut-corner that didn’t quite live up to expectations, but between his photos, and those of friends and family with some kick-ass cameras, I have salvaged the situation and gotten some decent gems.

Of course, this meant going through AND editing hundreds of them myself (which is probably why I’ve had a headache all week) but I’m kind of proud of the way they turned out, considering the way they were. It was fun! I’ve always loved playing with pictures, and taking them too. Makes me think I shoud get into wedding/couple photography on my own. Hmm. 🙂

Anyway, despite being sick of looking at them at this point (ha), I’m including a handful of favorites that I compressed and put into collage form to save space (so they may be a bit distorted/blurry.) It really was such a beautiful day, with the most amazing people, if I do say so myself!

                       ~ October 8, 2011 – Arlington & Fairfax, Virginia ~

This is what happens when your husband is in the field for 3 weeks and has his buddy pick things up from me to bring back to him: your manly stuff gets dolled up. Clearly I’m not afraid to embarrass him… lol 😉

P.S. Don’t worry though, there are some treats in there too. All his friends will actually be jealous…

(Taken with instagram)

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Decision Made! For Now…

So, Chuck and I took the plunge and signed on for another assignment with the Marines. It was a grueling decision, and even as Chuck left the house on the morning he had to decide, he still hadn’t fully made up his mind yet.

Of course, as soon as I got the text saying he essentially signed on the dotted line, I felt the strangest mix of relief, excitement, and of course, a whole new round of anxiety. I had made peace with the idea of staying on for another round, and in fact I encouraged him to stick with it, because I think it’s premature for him to leave something he loves so much without exploring more.

I was able to give my blessing mostly because I figured Chuck could diversify his experience with the Marines while a) we move somewhere else, with more opportunity for me than this area has to offer, and b) we would experience a few years deployment-free, and find something that closer resembles a normal, less staccato newlywed life before kids come along. We both win! However…

… This is assuming we get a good b-billet. Something that Chuck enjoys, and also gets us somewhere half-way decent. It’s also assuming his b-billet doesn’t require him to leave home much – they’re not all super stable, as it turns out. Not to mention, there is apparently a rumor going around that the Marines are cutting back on moving people at all, and will keep Marines at their current duty station. Unless something drastic changes, I do NOT want to stay here another 3 years, beach or no beach! Anxieties, incoming…!!

At least I know that, as of March 2013, he is still gainfully employed. We have a paycheck, and healthcare. We don’t have to deal with both of us facing unemployment during a deployment year, when between the frequent away-training and actual deployment, he is barely around to search.

But, there is no time to second-guess ourselves now! It is done. I’m in a I-hate-the-Marines-stage right now only because he’s currently away for three weeks, and I always get antsy when I’m by myself in this joint. It’s just kind of scary to give up all control over your future like that, without having a clue of what’s next…

Anyway, we have to get through this year regardless of the decision we made. As for next year, I will plan for the worst, hope for the best, and continue to keep calm and have my cupcakes.

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Random Rumination on Our Big New Decision

A couple of weeks ago, Chuck got career designation for the Marines, which means he has the option to stay in for 20 years and get retirement. It’s great news, and I am so beyond proud of him.

But this means a difficult decision for us as a couple. There are so many factors to consider – finances, children, my career, his career, personal happiness, and even politics. We both have our own list of pros and cons for each option. I was going to write about them all here to clear my head, but at this point it’s too overwhelming (and ultimately not helpful) to keep analyzing every angle, down to the nitty-gritty… so I’m going to ruminate generally instead.

The bottom line for me is: Chuck had already joined the Marines before we fell in love, and it was the only thing that made me hesitate as our relationship progressed. Of course, my love for him ultimately outgrew my uneasiness about the Marines, and I was ready to accept at least his 4 year commitment and take the rest from there.

Slight digression: It must be noted that I grew up as a military brat, and it was a good life for a kid. I am a better person in many ways because of it. However, it wasn’t a life I ever wanted for myself as an adult, or as a wife – especially during wartime, in an infantry battalion. There is very little the Marine Corps has to offer a wife, but there is a lot it will take away from her. It can’t be helped of course – but it’s not desirable for a girl like me.

On the other hand: I love Chuck with all my heart, and even an Ice Queen like me knows you don’t find true love every day. I also know how important the Marines are to him, and how sad he would be to leave prematurely. Chuck made his commitment to the Marines first, and yet I know he would give it all up for me if I asked him too. But, I don’t want to be the reason he leaves, if I can possibly help it. I know how hard it is to find what you love to do (I am still looking), and I like to think he would do the same for me if I found my passion.

I’ve only lived the spouse life for a few short months, so it’s difficult to judge how well I would adjust in the long run. I know the situation will always be different, everywhere we go. It could be a crazy, fun adventure with plenty of enrichment for me, as well as for him… or it could be long stretches of boredom, loneliness, and isolation in crappy locales while I wait, and wait, and wait for things to change again.

It’s the latter that scares me. I have always felt that life is short and that you can’t take anything for granted (the Marine Corps has only served to increase these feelings in me.) There are things I want to do with my youth. Things I want us to do before we have kids. Things I want to contribute to our life together, and to our future. I am blessed with the ability to do all of these things. I dislike the feeling of wasting time, doing nothing, for long periods at a time with no plan, and minimal assurance that the next round will be better. After all, these are my productive, money-making, adventure-taking, self-exploring years!

However, I also recognize the value of leaving your comfort zone, confronting new challenges, and blooming where you’re planted. I’m not particularly ready to go back to my DC life quite yet – only months ago, I was eager to escape that bubble and try something new. My current existence isn’t exactly what I had in mind, of course, but as I’ve written before – it’s not all bad. It really just depends on the day.

ANYWAY. At some point, Chuck may want to leave the Marines on his own accord – not because of the wife-factor. But, as long as he loves what he does, I want to support however I can. I am still uneasy about committing to 20 years, but I could handle another assignment, to see how it goes and where it takes us. We have one week left to make the call, so here’s to hoping that insight and wisdom find their way into our decision-making process!