milso

by

Le Bored at Work…

… so I am researching Ukraine. Random? Maybe. It’s about that time for Chuck and I to start the early stages of plotting our escape from Coastal Carolina, and (among other things) we are looking at international/language billets.

Of the options provided, Chuck ranked 1) Russian (Ukraine), 2) Thai, and 3) Chinese. I probably would have swapped the third for Peru or something, to avoid two Southeast Asian options and mix it up a bit, but whatever. I wanted something French, but Senegal wasn’t really what I had in mind…

I don’t think odds are ever heavily in our favor to get what we want or plan for, but it gives me something to occupy my obsessive brain with these days – I just don’t want to jinx it! If we get a billet like that, I plan to learn the language with Chuck so that I can get everything possible out of the experience. I figure if we are doing the military thing, I am down for something a little crazy – even if it continues to hold me back professionally a little longer. I would love to live abroad for a bit!

Although who knows – I could find something really cool/random to do in Ukraine. There are still wayyy too many unknowns at this point to truly plan anything (even our anniversary trip – Chuck’s deployment details literally change daily, argh), but I’m learning lots. Did you know the Ukraine military is the second largest in all of Europe after Russia??! I sure didn’t!!

by

My Trip Back Home

Whoaaa where have I been?! I was MIA the past two weeks, first because I was sick post-Miami, and then because I went home to Northern VA for the whole 4th of July week. I have yet to fully recover from either…

That being said, the trip was very successful, despite my forgetting the fact that just because Chuck and I had the whole week off, doesn’t mean everyone else did. We still managed to see *almost* everyone from both of our social groups, which almost never happens… so I’m pretty happy about that (just ignore the fact that all the pics I’m posting are only of my friends, ha!)

Anyway, our visit also happened to be during the heat wave of 100+ degrees and no power (post Crazy Thunderstorm of 2012), and fortunately for us, Chuck’s parents (our hotel service) were among the fortunate few with power. The excessive heat made for too much sweating for my taste, but also for lots of pool time! I’d forgotten how much I’ve missed the pool. The beach is nice, but sometimes it’s great to take a dip and not deal with sand and overly-aggressive waves bitch-slapping me in the face and ripping off my bikini. 🙂

4th of July itself was awesome. It didn’t consist of the usual high-end, pretentious Georgetown mansion and yacht parties I’ve attended in the past (those invites suddenly stopped once I got hitched), but of low-key BBQ’s and poolside lounging instead. The fireworks in particular were special for me this year. Last year I watched at the USMC Iwo Jima Memorial, while Chuck was in Afghanistan. Fireworks – particularly ones associated with patriotic pride – always have a way of making me cry, and it was only more emotional with Chuck gone. As fate would have it, I got a phone call from him last year, right in the midst of it. This year, I watched from the same spot, with Chuck actually by my side. Like I said – truly special!

We wrapped up the whirlwind week with a HinJew wedding on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. That’s right folks, you heard it right – a Hindu and Jewish wedding! It was such a fun experience, despite the suffocating heat and a few travel mishaps along the way (exacerbated by the fact we were traveling with a miserable feline.) I learned a lot and it was simply beautiful. Better yet – I got to see even more great friends, and danced the night away with them like old times.

Ultimately, I came away from the week realizing a few things. 1) Old friends are one of life’s truest joys and it’s always good to go back home. 2) Some things never change. 3) Almost everything else does change. 4) At the end of the day (or at the end of a nostalgic week going back) I can see that I am exactly where I need to be to move forward – here, in NC with my husband, starting a new life together.

People tend to fear change, but Life isn’t meant to be static and redundant. It’s truly dynamic. You have your constants for sure, but the river keeps flowing and very little is guaranteed. As I reunited with college friends, work friends, and miscellaneous hometown friends, Chuck and I both saw that while we still all have each other to an extent, we are also exploring different paths…Doing our own thing… Moving in various directions..embracing change. We aren’t all so reliant on each other anymore. It’s not like the old days – some things are not quite like they used to be. And yet, we are all more enriched as individuals because of it. Bloom where you’re planted. Always.

I don’t know if that made any sense out loud, but it did in my head… Anyway. Done waxing poetic now 🙂

Tonight, Chuck and his Marine buddies are over celebrating one of their favorite former Major’s return to town. It’s me and about 8-10 Marines. Chuck also brought home the lovely painting of the sassy Seniorita above, regaling me with tales about how she dates back to World War II in his Battalion’s history – snagged from the Philippines by some long gone war hero – returned to the Battalion after said war hero’s death, by his grieving widow – on display in the Battalion offices ever since.

Turns out, that story is pure folklore, and the returning Major actually stole it from a Mexican restaurant out in California during training (he did try to buy it from the restaurant, but they refused to sell, so he ran off with it after leaving $50 on the table.) She’s been on deployment to Afghanistan with the Battalion since – stolen by other Battalions, and put up for ransom before finally being recovered. She goes solely by “Seniorita.”

It’s still a pretty cool story, but I’m a bit hostile to this mysterious, exotic babe hanging out in my living room, who has such a special place in these guys’ hearts…

…she’s pretty hot.

This past weekend I attended a “dining-in”, an age-old military tradition. Chuck wasn’t able to attend (he was on Mancation with childhood buddies this week in VA – hence my pseudo-“date” pictured above hehe), so I really wasn’t sure what to expect. After initially being really weirded out, I had so much fun! It’s kind of like a roast – and a blend of old-fashioned (practically medieval) language, formal toasts, and traditional practices combined with inside jokes and modern fun. Kinda hard to explain unless you’ve been to one, but it was a great time.

It was one of those rare occasions when, as a spouse, you get some insight into what this all means to your Marines. We (or at least I) spend so much time complaining, worrying, and dealing with the pain-in-the-ass aspects of being part of the military family, but it was really cool to see how special it actually is. The camaraderie, the fellowship, the tradition, the responsibility, the devotion… it was awesome. It gave me many of those “this is why they do this… no, this is why WE do this” moments.

Of course, it helped that the guest of honor (a USMC Colonel) gave a wonderful speech celebrating the military spouse. And, it wasn’t the cliched “thank you for your sacrifice, we couldn’t do it without you” rundown (I hate that BS, because it would probably actually make your job easier in many ways if you didn’t have us to worry about.)

Instead, he was was very specific and relatable, keeping it about our experience, rather than theirs. “You laud our accomplishments and support our aspirations while setting aside, delaying, or completely sacrificing your own… You take care of everything we would take care of in our absence, act as single moms, endure with minimal support in far from home, and we know we can’t ever forget that.” He really hit it where I feel it, at least.

Of course, the Marines are the ones who live and breathe the ultimate sacrifice, but it’s also a job of glory. The spouse’s role can feel a great deal more thankless…futile… unrecognized, stereotyped, and lonely, while our husbands get their medals, recognition, and career advancement. It can be very rewarding of course (I am always so proud of Chuck, and I am also thankful for what the military provides, from steady income, to health coverage, to security), but it’s nice to have the truly tricky parts recognized by someone at that level.

Anyways, it was a fabulous time, and made me feel better than ever in my role as a Marine wife, from every perspective. 🙂

by

Musing About the Value of a Master’s Degree…

So, about a week ago, I paid off the last of my undergraduate loan (woohoo!) It was painful, considering I had no idea that I’d spent the past 5 years paying off mere interest ONLY, so Chuck and I made the decision to hit it hard and just pay it off in large chunks and eliminate the principle altogether. It stung, but at least it’s over with, and we can enjoy being officially debt-free.

But of course, now I’m thinking more than ever about my “next steps” in higher education. A master’s degree is increasingly becoming the new status quo, and I do feel the need for one, and even the desire (my own ego is at stake here, ha!) I enjoyed school, I’m more focused now, and I would like to expand my knowledge base and work my brain again. Also, any halfway decent jobs I find in this area “prefer” masters degrees (oddly enough), so I honestly think it would make me look more appealing, regardless of how much actual work experience I’ve had.

At the same time, I’m still as fuzzy as ever in knowing what to do with my life, and how much I value a big fancy career, as opposed to just working and being productive and finding happiness outside of work. As discussed before, military life makes this exponentially more difficult. If I go back to the basics (“What do you like?”), my academic interests still lie in foreign affairs, international studies, and the news. I still love that shiz! I could see myself in the CIA, or at the State Department, or at USAID… doing communications, management, planning, or policy.

But of course, those tracks require being in DC, for the most part. Otherwise, they will require travel to all kinds of “exotic” locations that are certainly not compatible with the demands of my husband’s career (you can’t have two tricky ones!!) I may not want to travel like a maniac to far corners of the earth in my 30’s anyway…

So, I’m thinking MBA lately. It may be cliche, but it’s versatile. I can use it if I go back to consulting, and I could use it if I get into hospital or university management (two things I honestly think I would enjoy, and take around with me.) It wouldn’t interest me as much as a variety of other degrees would, but it’s functional, and let’s face it – practicality trumps all at this point! It fits well into the resume I already have, and I’m sure I could use it in a government setting as well.

The other issue is COST. Ugh. I hate the idea of going back into debt – bleeding money instead of making it. School is so freaking expensive these days. I was looking at one program that charges $1500 per CREDIT HOUR. No freaking way. It was a pretty reputable school, but seriously… how low do I have to stoop so I can afford to go? Even the lower ranked schools cost a small fortune 😦

Anyways, as always – just trying to figure out and balance what I want vs. what I need vs. what I should do vs. what Icando vs. what I actually care and don’t care about.  I don’t know why I still try so hard to have a life plan – I should probably just continue to wing it – throw caution to the wind and trust that I’m smart and will get by no matter what winds come our way. Life doesn’t always have to be so by the book…

I mean hey, it’s worked so far, right?

…

by

Wedding Pictures Galore

When I planned my wedding last fall (sans husband, who – naturally – was deployed), I did all I could to cut corners when it came to our budget. We paid for most of the wedding and honeymoon ourselves, so I was always looking for a good deal. On most things, I’m proud to say that I found those bargains – to include my photographer, who was an old acquaintance of mine from my Bad Kitty days.

Sadly, he was the only cut-corner that didn’t quite live up to expectations, but between his photos, and those of friends and family with some kick-ass cameras, I have salvaged the situation and gotten some decent gems.

Of course, this meant going through AND editing hundreds of them myself (which is probably why I’ve had a headache all week) but I’m kind of proud of the way they turned out, considering the way they were. It was fun! I’ve always loved playing with pictures, and taking them too. Makes me think I shoud get into wedding/couple photography on my own. Hmm. 🙂

Anyway, despite being sick of looking at them at this point (ha), I’m including a handful of favorites that I compressed and put into collage form to save space (so they may be a bit distorted/blurry.) It really was such a beautiful day, with the most amazing people, if I do say so myself!

                       ~ October 8, 2011 – Arlington & Fairfax, Virginia ~

by

My Carolina Bucket List

In the process of learning to bloom where I’m planted and embrace my new home, I have made a list of things I want to do while we live in this area, big and small. For the things that seem insignificant – or like I could do that anywhere – they make the list mostly because it’s way cheaper to do it down here… and I have the time I never had before. 🙂

– Attend a few ballroom dancing classes. I’d love to focus on swing and tango. Better yet, Chuck is actually open to this idea!

– Hit up Myrtle Beach Safari down in South Carolina. Just 2-ish hours away, and I get to fulfill my lifelong dream of holding a baby tiger!! OMG.

– Eat at the one authentically French restaurant I’ve found in the entire Wilmington to Jacksonville area, Caprice Bistro. It’s not cheap, but I have yet to find a bad review, and it’s on the riverfront. Bien sur, c’est bon!

– Road trip to Charleston, SC to take the scandalous ”Dark Side of Charleston – Rated R” tour – or any of the ghost tours, for that matter. I briefly visited Charleston once, for a wedding this past November, and I must go back! Oh, and I love scandal. And ghost tours.

– Go shootin’. Seriously, I’m married to a Marine, and I’ve never been to a shooting range!

– Take a romantic and luxurious B&B getaway with Chuck in Savannah, Georgia…just for a weekend. Like here or here or even here. Gahhh. Or maybe here. Then, I’ll hunt down some Paula Deen comfort food. Yum!

– Girls’ trip to Raleigh. I hear it’s fun, artsy, and the shopping is pretty amazing. And around here, let’s face it – I am truly shopping deprived.

That’s my current list, but I’m fairly certain it will grow as I learn more about what the area has to offer. I’ve been feeling so much more positive lately (the new job + arrival of summer helps!) and just ready to take things in stride. I have a tendency to complain, and then leave a place/situation, only to look back and realize it was great and that I got so much out of it. We’ve got at least another year here, so I plan to take full advantage of it!

by

I Love Surprising People

At a career fair on base this week, I had an opportunity in my ongoing pursuit to convince people that not all military spouses are stay-at-home moms (to reiterate: I’m not opposed to that, just not ready yet!) Granted, the fair was geared mostly to Marines looking to get out and enter the civilian world, but I still found myself almost instantly overlooked as a wife.

I approached one contractor’s bench and asked him if he had any positions available in the area. He smiled at me as if I was a high-school student asking the question, asked if I was active duty (“No, I’m a spouse”) and said, “Well ma’am, all our positions are for experienced professionals with security clearances at this time.”

I HAVE A SECURITY CLEARANCE, SUCKA!! Spouse does not automatically mean under-qualified! We all know what happens when you assume. I wish I had been ballsy enough to yell that  and smack my resume down right on top of his perfectly stacked business cards. But of course, the nice girl took over instead, opting to politely tell him I do have a clearance while I calmly walked away…

… But I didn’t turn away too late to notice the surprised and embarrassed expression on his face. Ha 🙂

by

Decision Made! For Now…

So, Chuck and I took the plunge and signed on for another assignment with the Marines. It was a grueling decision, and even as Chuck left the house on the morning he had to decide, he still hadn’t fully made up his mind yet.

Of course, as soon as I got the text saying he essentially signed on the dotted line, I felt the strangest mix of relief, excitement, and of course, a whole new round of anxiety. I had made peace with the idea of staying on for another round, and in fact I encouraged him to stick with it, because I think it’s premature for him to leave something he loves so much without exploring more.

I was able to give my blessing mostly because I figured Chuck could diversify his experience with the Marines while a) we move somewhere else, with more opportunity for me than this area has to offer, and b) we would experience a few years deployment-free, and find something that closer resembles a normal, less staccato newlywed life before kids come along. We both win! However…

… This is assuming we get a good b-billet. Something that Chuck enjoys, and also gets us somewhere half-way decent. It’s also assuming his b-billet doesn’t require him to leave home much – they’re not all super stable, as it turns out. Not to mention, there is apparently a rumor going around that the Marines are cutting back on moving people at all, and will keep Marines at their current duty station. Unless something drastic changes, I do NOT want to stay here another 3 years, beach or no beach! Anxieties, incoming…!!

At least I know that, as of March 2013, he is still gainfully employed. We have a paycheck, and healthcare. We don’t have to deal with both of us facing unemployment during a deployment year, when between the frequent away-training and actual deployment, he is barely around to search.

But, there is no time to second-guess ourselves now! It is done. I’m in a I-hate-the-Marines-stage right now only because he’s currently away for three weeks, and I always get antsy when I’m by myself in this joint. It’s just kind of scary to give up all control over your future like that, without having a clue of what’s next…

Anyway, we have to get through this year regardless of the decision we made. As for next year, I will plan for the worst, hope for the best, and continue to keep calm and have my cupcakes.