I started Docstoc in my 20s, made the cover of one of those cliché 20 Under 20 lists, and today I employ an amazing group of 20-somethings. Call me a curmudgeon, but at 34, how I came up seems so different from what this millennial generation expects. I made […]
Really great professional advice in here!
20 Things 20 Year-Olds Don’t Get
Guest blogger Anita Tedaldi writes about how hard it is to maintain any kind of linear career when you are married to the military.
A well-written story of our lives…
Military Wives at Work
… in my ability to possibly be a working mom someday. Not that I like to think about having babies at this point, but as a married woman approaching 30, it does need to be thought about. And when I was on the Big 4 career path back in DC, I seriously thought there was no way in hell I could ever be a working mom. I worked on a team that was mostly women, and the team leaders were all mom’s. Honestly – their lives sounded miserable to me! Big 4 workloads are notoriously challenging. To be considered for advancement, it is REQUIRED to work large amounts of overtime. Other people and lots of money are at stake with everything you do or don’t do.
I felt the stress (and the guilt) when my bosses had to leave work suddenly – usually in the middle of something big – to tend to a child with an ear infection. I felt their fatigue when they had to hurry home in time for dinner, then sign back on to log more hours from 8pm till close to midnight. I shuddered when I heard stories of one leader sending emails on her Blackberry while en route to the hospital to deliver her baby. I remember thinking, “No way do I even WANT to try and balance early motherhood and career.” I didn’t want to run the risk of half-assing either of them. It was discouraging, because like many woman, of course I want both, and recognize the value in both…
But that brings me to this job. It seems that not every career path is like a Big 4 career path. It’s pretty amazing to be in a work environment where all hell won’t break loose if I need to leave for a few hours. Or take off early if I need to watch my kid perform in some school show. Everything is so much more… reasonable. There are very few crazy hours or asinine requirements. The mom’s and dad’s alike here have a good balance of work and family. Even though I sometimes pull funny hours here and there for an event, there is tons of flexibility to make up for it by taking off early or coming in late at some other point during the week.
It makes me wonder, if we do end up back in DC (which we probably will), if I even want to return to a job like the one I had before – children or no. The paycheck was nice. The recognition was nice. But even as a single, childless person, it was hard to justify the pressures I felt. It’s even harder now, knowing it doesn’t have to be that way!
I guess we’ll have to see what my options are when we move. And of course, I don’t have kids yet. But I don’t see the point in jumping back into that kind of job for just a few years, before facing those issues all over again. I know I don’t want to balance babies and multi-million dollar contracts…
We shall see!
At a career fair on base this week, I had an opportunity in my ongoing pursuit to convince people that not all military spouses are stay-at-home moms (to reiterate: I’m not opposed to that, just not ready yet!) Granted, the fair was geared mostly to Marines looking to get out and enter the civilian world, but I still found myself almost instantly overlooked as a wife.
I approached one contractor’s bench and asked him if he had any positions available in the area. He smiled at me as if I was a high-school student asking the question, asked if I was active duty (“No, I’m a spouse”) and said, “Well ma’am, all our positions are for experienced professionals with security clearances at this time.”
I HAVE A SECURITY CLEARANCE, SUCKA!! Spouse does not automatically mean under-qualified! We all know what happens when you assume. I wish I had been ballsy enough to yell that and smack my resume down right on top of his perfectly stacked business cards. But of course, the nice girl took over instead, opting to politely tell him I do have a clearance while I calmly walked away…
… But I didn’t turn away too late to notice the surprised and embarrassed expression on his face. Ha 🙂