These kinds of memes annoy me so much! While I’m vehemently opposed to extreme dieting and all the “thinspo” crap that I see out there, I am naturally built more like the women in the top row, and have never felt fully comfortable with myself either. I’m coming into my own these days, but attitudes like this don’t help.

Beauty comes in many forms, and all are acceptable so long as your lifestyle choices are healthy. Our culture needs to stop being so critical of the female form(s) overall…and ladies, it starts with each of us (many of the harshest comments come from girls.)

And, I think it’s funny that so many people hold Marilyn Monroe as an example of true, “natural” beauty. She actually had plenty of work done to transform her from her Norma Jean days to the sexpot we know and love today… to include some plastic surgery. And if she was around in the age of tabloids, I’m sure some idiot would be blasting her cellulite. Just sayin’.

.

“When the Japanese mend broken objects they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold, because they believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history, it becomes more beautiful.”

Thanks, erlnyc 🙂

by

For the Love of Leopard Stilettos

A few years ago, I made the most amazing discovery at TJ Maxx: Guess leopard print heels for only $35.99. They had the added bonus of not only being smokin’ hot, but mega comfortable (as comfortable as 3.5-4 inch heels can get, of course.) They were the type of shoes that looked super sexy with a mini LBD for a night on the town, but could also pass for office wear with a toned down neutral outfit, for just a touch of added spice. I knew they were appropriate for work because even the snooty women at work complimented them all the time, instead of turning me into HR (which has actually happened before, for my “color choices”, but that’s another story.)

Alas, after 3 years rocking these heels on a regular basis, at work and at play, I did the unthinkable – I lost them during my move out from my apartment in Arlington. I last wore them for my bachelorette party in Atlantic City, and never saw them again. I didn’t see them moving out, and I didn’t see them moving into my new home in NC. I’m pretty sure they were in a cluster of bags, mostly filled with trash, and I just got them mixed in and threw them out (along with my wedding veil, one week before the wedding, but that’s another story.)

Ever since, I have sought a replacement pair. But, there’s just nothing that comes close. I thought I found it with these sassy little things from ShoeDazzle, but as it turns out, they are far too stripper-ish for the versatile wear I enjoyed with the originals.  Since when does EVERY cute shoe have to be over 5 inches tall and include a large platform?

Sigh. The search continues…

Had another great weekend with an old friend! Mimi and I go back to sophomore year of college, where we were the dorks serving on Brown Hall Council at W&M. We spent junior and senior years as RA’s (pretty bad ones, I might add), then both ended up working and living the yuppie lifestyle in Northern VA, where she still lives and works. She was also a bridesmaid in Chuck’s and my wedding. The weather turned out less than beach-friendly for her visit, but we still had fun with the beach bars, restaurants, and the Pirates of the Caribbean ship in Downtown Wilmington! I’m loving that friends are coming to visit me. I always feel bad when I go up to DC for a visit, and have to squeeze so many people in that I barely get quality time with anyone. So, it’s nice that we are not so far away from home that visits are still reasonable. 🙂

Four things you can’t recover:

The Stone after the throw
The Word after it’s said
The Occasion after it’s missed, and
The Time after it’s gone.

by

Wedding Pictures Galore

When I planned my wedding last fall (sans husband, who – naturally – was deployed), I did all I could to cut corners when it came to our budget. We paid for most of the wedding and honeymoon ourselves, so I was always looking for a good deal. On most things, I’m proud to say that I found those bargains – to include my photographer, who was an old acquaintance of mine from my Bad Kitty days.

Sadly, he was the only cut-corner that didn’t quite live up to expectations, but between his photos, and those of friends and family with some kick-ass cameras, I have salvaged the situation and gotten some decent gems.

Of course, this meant going through AND editing hundreds of them myself (which is probably why I’ve had a headache all week) but I’m kind of proud of the way they turned out, considering the way they were. It was fun! I’ve always loved playing with pictures, and taking them too. Makes me think I shoud get into wedding/couple photography on my own. Hmm. 🙂

Anyway, despite being sick of looking at them at this point (ha), I’m including a handful of favorites that I compressed and put into collage form to save space (so they may be a bit distorted/blurry.) It really was such a beautiful day, with the most amazing people, if I do say so myself!

                       ~ October 8, 2011 – Arlington & Fairfax, Virginia ~

by

On Mother’s Day…

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there – I am lucky to know so many great ones! I don’t like to get too depressing or emo on here, but of course I’ve been thinking about my own mother, and missing her…because overall, it feels like I don’t have one.

My mother is alive, but not well – and not in the traditional sense. In many ways it would be much simpler if she was dying of some physical ailment, but instead, she’s suffering from debilitating mental illness, which is equally as real and even more horrifying in its manifestation – not to mention far more damaging to our relationships, self-esteem, and family as a whole…

It’s a long, confusing story that basically comes down to paranoid delusional and psychotic disorders, suicide attempts, depression, and anxiety. The worst part of it is that she doesn’t think she’s sick, refuses treatment, and has shut my dad, sister, and I out because she thinks we have contributed to or downright caused her delusional state of misery, fear, and loneliness. Worse yet – I can barely remember a time when she was happy, and what made her great as a mom (because once upon a time, she was…)

Anyway, I don’t want to dwell much on the matter, and I don’t want to pity myself. It’s truly her that suffers most. I just wanted say how much I miss her, and struggle to remember better times while also trying to move on and accept that she will never get better, but most likely worse… continuing to cope with the fact that she blames me for her situation, and however much I know intellectually that it’s not real, it is very real to her… and that’s all that really matters. Unfortunately, her reality drives this, not ours. In her mind, I have hurt her, and we both have to live with that.

Mom, you are far from us physically, mentally, and emotionally, but even though I try to forget you and all that has happened, I will always love you. Happy Mother’s Day ❤