It’s the Small Things

I just want to take a moment to rejoice at the condition of my hair and my eyelashes these days. For years, both were in such bad shape, mostly due to over-processing and the abuse of clip-in extensions and falsies during my Bad Kitty days. Those were a ton of fun, but they really did take such a toll, especially after crashing with them still in… no bueno. Literally, my hair was clean ripped off in some places (I just played them off as choppy layers…)

Anyway, I took a break on the extensions. Wore false lashes less frequently. Of course, going out on the town less certainly helped with these efforts. I also started using Agadir Argan Oil spray on my hair (basically Moroccan oil) and swiped lotion on my lashes at night before bed (weird, I know.) But it has made SUCH a difference! Even other people have been complimenting the condition of my hair, compared to the old days. I’m at a point where I can say I’m happy with both my lashes and my hair – longer, fuller, notably healthier… and I still get to highlight 🙂

Lately, I don’t even feel the need for extensions or falsies (except maybe for a truly special occasion that involves lots of pictures.) I recently purchased Revitalash (basically non-prescription Latisse) to encourage lash growth, and it seems to be helping as well.

I sound so high maintenance haha… but my hair has always been so fine and scrawny, it’s nice to have some life in it!!

Flustered…

Confession: I follow Playboy on Instagram. Of all the “smut” magazines out there, I can handle Playboy and find their shoots sexy and creative. I enjoyed watching “Girls Next Door” and I’m fascinated by the organization from a sociological perspective, too (in both good and bad ways.) I know it’s weird and contradictory…but…. Ugh. So, sue me.

Now that that’s out of the way… I was scrolling through my feed when I noticed the following post:

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I got pretty excited, because it’s not often you see a fair-skinned beauty featured in Playboy.

But then, I noticed the comments.  I know there are always going to be haters and your occasional obnoxious remark, but the comments directed at Miss Kassielyn were almost exclusively critical…and hateful.  I seriously couldn’t believe my eyes.

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Now, anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that I’ve dealt with major insecurities for being skinny and pale, and that I can’t really help either. Both are genetic. I’ve been taunted for both, and called unattractive for both – more or less subtly.  Just as I smiled with happiness that a different kind of sexy was gracing the Playboy name (more associated with curves and golden glows), I got that old pit in my stomach that I get when I feel unattractive and inadequate.

I realize I shouldn’t put so much emphasis on physical appearance, but our culture is saturated with it (as are most cultures, with varying definitions of beauty.) We all have a particular standard of “sexy” shoved down our throats – it’s unavoidable, and of course, very few of us match.

I also recognize the danger of the “thinspo” subculture and am definitely not trying to promote any one body type over another, but it’s discouraging to watch my type get virtually trampled under everyone’s smartphone-wielding finger-feet… especially since I am healthy and not doing anything wrong. And it’s certainly not the first time!

I was seriously about to email the screenshot of the model to Chuck and say “It’s good to see a pale girl in Playboy!” before I saw that apparently, it is still considered ugly or gross to be pale and skinny after all…

And for the record, I am aware how silly this may sound (normally, it’s good to see a curvy model in most magazines, etc), but it just goes to show you how there are always two sides to every coin. If people could only think twice about being so critical!

I got a partial set of eyelash extensions this week, since they’re significantly cheaper down here than in DC. I love them, but I’m trying really hard not to get addicted… Grrr! I’m hoping they start to get really annoying. They’re a little annoying already, but I like them enough so far not to care. Figures 🙂

It’s really fun not needing mascara!!

“The other night while picking up groceries, Brendan decided to pick up flowers as well. He said it would be nice to wake up to them. It’s strange because I don’t like flowers, while most do. There is something morbid about them to me – that at the height of their beauty, they are actually dying. Which is funny because the Japanese actually think that mortality in itself is beautiful. The thought that something (to borrow a famous movie quote) will never be as lovely as it is today, in the present. That concept of fleeting beauty is beautiful in itself.

It reminded me of this other quote which could be applied to many other things in life besides flowers: if you only have two pennies left in this world, buy bread with one, and a flower with the other. Everything has something to offer.

And yes, he was right. They were a lovely sight this morning!”

~erlnyc

These kinds of memes annoy me so much! While I’m vehemently opposed to extreme dieting and all the “thinspo” crap that I see out there, I am naturally built more like the women in the top row, and have never felt fully comfortable with myself either. I’m coming into my own these days, but attitudes like this don’t help.

Beauty comes in many forms, and all are acceptable so long as your lifestyle choices are healthy. Our culture needs to stop being so critical of the female form(s) overall…and ladies, it starts with each of us (many of the harshest comments come from girls.)

And, I think it’s funny that so many people hold Marilyn Monroe as an example of true, “natural” beauty. She actually had plenty of work done to transform her from her Norma Jean days to the sexpot we know and love today… to include some plastic surgery. And if she was around in the age of tabloids, I’m sure some idiot would be blasting her cellulite. Just sayin’.

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Advice From a Cat #4

“Love your body the way it is. Eat the kibble of your choice. Embrace your plentiful chubs. If you don’t love you, no one else will. This is why everyone loves me. This is my secret to cool.”

Disclaimer: “A happy body is also a healthy body. Be sure to consult with your veterinarian before overindulging in your favorite kibble. But, be sure to still indulge anyway… just once in a while.” 

~ The Wise and Chubby Annie Bean