Every now and again, Chuck and I get so caught up in the separate things we have going on in our lives, that we start to lose touch with each other. This calls for what I have dubbed a “reset”, when we share openly and honestly over a glass of wine (or scotch, in his case.) We talk about what has preoccupied us individually, and then what we miss in each other. I hope this is something we can maintain over the years, because it goes without saying that communication is vitally important in a healthy relationship.
This particular exchange was well-timed because it was mere days before we celebrated five years of marriage.
Our reset made for a truly enjoyable, distraction-free October 8th. I think we both felt relaxed and in-touch with each other. We don’t typically exchange gifts on our anniversary (opting for a trip somewhere, instead), but – unbeknownst to each other – we both ended up purchasing items that we had been wanting for a while – an XBOX One for him, and a Kerrie Hess painting for her.
We enjoyed a romantic and satisfying dinner at Soupcon, a favorite local Okinawan cafe, before wrapping up a last day of work and jetting off to Kyoto!
I think it’s been our best anniversary so far… and I know there will be many, many more to come 🙂
Veteran wife Heather Hummert knows it takes two to tango and it takes two to save a marriage, especially if there is TBI and PTSD involved.
Good read for any military families dealing with PTSD and TBI’s. There is some good advice in here in general actually, for any marriage!
Marriage Tips for PTSD and TBI Families | BrainLine Military
… 10 of Chuck’s and/or my GOOD friends got engaged this year. The majority of those got engaged in the past few days, weeks, and months. Everyone’s in luurrrrvvve for the holidays, and I just love weddings 🙂
The only “problem” is that all these new diamond-rocking couples are trying to get married between September and November, with most looking at October. A handful of them involve me or Chuck in the wedding party, too. I don’t see how we’ll be able to avoid missing some, especially if we move to the West Coast in the summer and it’ll cost a grand just to fly Chuck and I back East (all are on the east coast except for one, and that one is in Mexico.)
Never mind that I’ll also be unemployed again just in time for fall…
Fingers crossed, we’ll be able to make pretty much all of them! Then, I’ll tackle all the bridal showers/bachelorette parties/bridesmaid duties as they come… If we move back to the DC area, it should be more manageable (assuming no one plans the same weekend.) At least then, we can drive most places, or flights will be cheaper. We shall see!
BUT in all seriousness, CONGRATULATIONS to all!! ❤ And … wish me luck 😉
My sister is such a good writer. She’s always been able to capture emotions and put them into words so eloquently. She wrote this about love and marriage, and it could not be more true for the way I felt in marrying Chuck:
“The moment I began to dream of the possibility of marrying you I was struck by the gentleness with which this hope swirled and enveloped me with courage and joy. I do not fear the commitment and obstacles as I always have, but feel devoted to facing the wonder and challenges that a life partnership entails. I still marvel at this realization. It is not fireworks, a thunderclap, or a lightning bolt. It’s peace. It’s a serene quiet that comes with the knowing that your heart has met its compliment and softly whispers, ‘Yes. Devote yourself to him forever.’ “
This is actually how I feel when non-military wives/girlfriends say this kind of stuff. I mean… really!!
I’ve been married one year and the Knot is sending me invitations to get pregnant and join The Bump. #yeahright #nowayamiready
On Sunday night in Savannah, Chuck and I met a darling older couple who shared a cab with us from dinner at Elizabeth’s. We ran into them again later when we got cocktails at 700 Drayton – finding them quietly enjoying each other’s company by the hotel pool.
They were celebrating her 60-something birthday. He was from Montreal, she was from Mobile, Alabama. They had been married 37 years – he proposed at Mardi Gras after dating for only 6 weeks. She was slightly tipsy…cute, blonde, and chatty, dipping her feet in the pool, telling us about how she “got him good” at his surprise birthday party a few weeks earlier… and he was suavely leaning back in his lounge chair, smiling and sipping a martini very similar to the one Chuck held in his hand. I realize there’s always more than what meets the eye, but they were exactly what I want to be in 37 years…
I have a habit of asking happy older couples we meet what their secret is to a lasting and loving marriage. I always get the same cliched answers, about never going to bed mad, keeping things sexy, not rushing kids, and (from and for the guys) just let the woman win every argument…lol.
But I think what I’ve learned just from watching them, is that the most important thing is to have FUN together. This couple was in their 60’s, had been married for decades, and were still laughing together, adventuring together, surprising each other. They admitted to trials and tribulations, arguments and tension, but there in the Savannah twilight by the pool, they were nothing short of happy.
Maybe that’s the key to every relationship though, romantic or otherwise. Respect each other, yes…but mostly, just laugh together.
Two years ago today, I married the love of my life in a quiet family ceremony on a Friday afternoon. He left that Monday and I went back to life as normal…
… One year ago today, my returned war hero husband and I celebrated the beginning of our actual life together with a big crazy fun wedding 🙂 While I still don’t know whether to call this my first or my second wedding anniversary, I can say for sure that married life is wonderful and I am one happy girl!
We had the most wonderful time this weekend in Savannah, which I will post about soon. In the meantime, here’s to many more anniversaries with my Chuckles!