personal

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My Carolina Bucket List

In the process of learning to bloom where I’m planted and embrace my new home, I have made a list of things I want to do while we live in this area, big and small. For the things that seem insignificant – or like I could do that anywhere – they make the list mostly because it’s way cheaper to do it down here… and I have the time I never had before. 🙂

– Attend a few ballroom dancing classes. I’d love to focus on swing and tango. Better yet, Chuck is actually open to this idea!

– Hit up Myrtle Beach Safari down in South Carolina. Just 2-ish hours away, and I get to fulfill my lifelong dream of holding a baby tiger!! OMG.

– Eat at the one authentically French restaurant I’ve found in the entire Wilmington to Jacksonville area, Caprice Bistro. It’s not cheap, but I have yet to find a bad review, and it’s on the riverfront. Bien sur, c’est bon!

– Road trip to Charleston, SC to take the scandalous ”Dark Side of Charleston – Rated R” tour – or any of the ghost tours, for that matter. I briefly visited Charleston once, for a wedding this past November, and I must go back! Oh, and I love scandal. And ghost tours.

– Go shootin’. Seriously, I’m married to a Marine, and I’ve never been to a shooting range!

– Take a romantic and luxurious B&B getaway with Chuck in Savannah, Georgia…just for a weekend. Like here or here or even here. Gahhh. Or maybe here. Then, I’ll hunt down some Paula Deen comfort food. Yum!

– Girls’ trip to Raleigh. I hear it’s fun, artsy, and the shopping is pretty amazing. And around here, let’s face it – I am truly shopping deprived.

That’s my current list, but I’m fairly certain it will grow as I learn more about what the area has to offer. I’ve been feeling so much more positive lately (the new job + arrival of summer helps!) and just ready to take things in stride. I have a tendency to complain, and then leave a place/situation, only to look back and realize it was great and that I got so much out of it. We’ve got at least another year here, so I plan to take full advantage of it!

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In Defense of Facebook

A few friends of mine (okay, probably more like a few acquaintances of mine) have recently made the decision to quit Facebook. That’s all fine and dandy, but their reasoning got me all defensive. One of said acquaintances even wrote a tongue-in-cheek newspaper editorial on why she finds Facebook to be less of a blessing and more of a curse. So, naturally, I got even more defensive…

Say what you will about Facebook, but I have never felt more in touch with people (friends, networks, contacts, old co-workers, and everything in between) than I have since joining. I agree that in-person interaction is always better, but for someone like me, the stark reality is that there is no way I can stay so personally up-to-date with that many people. Facebook makes it easier for me to stay involved, despite all our busy and dynamic lives that often cross borders and timezones.

It’s a great supplement to phone calls, emails, letters (as if anyone still writes letters, lol), and actual visits. Plus – I don’t know about you – but my phone calls rarely touch everything going on in a friend’s life, and certainly not in mine. They are more like overarching, general updates, because there’s only so much time either of us has to just shoot the breeze like we were neighbors again.

Facebook gives me windows into the little details that someone may forget to include in a phone conversation. While there is such a thing as oversharing on Facebook, I love reading about a friend’s (or even an appreciated acquaintance’s) thoughtful insights, funny quips, recent adventures, and random rants. Whether I’ve known the person for years, recently met them at a social gathering, or fell out of touch but still have fond memories of the person, I genuinely enjoy seeing what they are up to.

My editorial writer acquaintance explained that Facebook leads to jealousy, competitive comparisons, feelings of inadequacy, and drama. Okay, so maybe there are one or two individuals I’m connected with that make me feel a little jealous and inadequate, but overall, I love to watch people succeed. It can be motivating! Or maybe, it’s just fun to see the many different paths my friends have taken. I have learned a lot from many of my connections, and I love information sharing – articles, images, blogs… you name it. I love hearing opinions, because they help me hone and develop my own, and challenge me to consider alternate perspectives.

As for drama – well, we all know drama existed long before Facebook, and will continue to exist long after. That will just depend on the user. And even if I wasn’t on Facebook, I probably would still eventually find out that Jane Doe got her Ph.D from Harvard, a diamond way bigger than mine from Tiffany’s, and a 5-star vacation in Paris.

Anyway, for the occasional annoying/obligatorily-friended person that clogs my newsfeed, Facebook has made it much easier to control what I see with the “hide” and “block” features. It also continues to allow me to limit what I share and who I share it with, to protect my own privacy (and I have learned many such lessons on sharing in my 8-odd years on Facebook!) But I will always love virtually staying involved with friends, family, and contacts from near and far via Facebook. I will  miss my acquaintances who are leaving – because they are two that I do actually love to follow and interact with from afar. One is an insightful young mother with a knack for making vegan diets look yummy, and the other is a budding political commentator with a killer sense of humor. I’ve learned something from both of them.

Maybe someday I will change my mind and find it creepy just like many of my peers, but for now, I will continue to involve myself in my little virtual Facebook community – because I know that unfortunately, without it, I would have lost touch with too many pretty awesome (or at least interesting!) people.

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New Job & New Recipe…!

… – ish on both accounts. Today I start my new non-profit gig in Wilmington. Unfortunately it’s temp, but depending on how it goes, that “unfortunately” may turn into a “fortunately”… 😉 Really though, I am excited! It’s high-visibility business development for the area (which it desperately needs), and I think I will learn a lot from it – especially since I’m one of only two team members/consultants brought in to help.

Either way – it’s something! I will try to keep the pharmacy job a few shifts per month just in case I don’t find something else when this position wraps up in the fall. Luckily, they are willing to work with me for that.

And as for the “new” recipe… slow cooker lasagna?! WHAT a novelty! Clearly I’ve made lasagna before, but I’ve never heard of the crockpot concept 🙂 Prep n’ go… Come home to delicious smells and a ready dinner! What’s not to love?

Today Chuck helped me find my inner green thumb by planting a mini-garden in the front yard. Turns out I’m better in the kitchen… Ha… But I’m still happy to find something new we can do together, and enjoy the outdoors while we’re at it. Plus we planted pumpkins, tomatoes, and blueberries in the back! Yum. 🙂

Of course I was bummed to flake on going to see my wonderful DC ladies this weekend, but I had such a great time partying on the beach with lovely new girl friends and my amazing hubby, who surprised me by coming home a whole week early 🙂

(Taken with instagram)

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So Proud of My Bean!

Today, I watched Annie pee in the backyard for the first time ever! Don’t get me wrong – I don’t mind the litterbox – but Chuck and I both find it odd that Miss Bean will spend so much time in the yard but scramble back inside to use the potty. Aren’t animals supposed to know the grass makes for a great toilet?

So, there I was relaxing on the patio watching her frolic, and before I knew it, she wandered to a small corner of the yard, popped a chubby little squat, and went! She even tried to cover it like a lady (I guess she hasn’t grasped that you can’t paw through grass like you can litter.) I don’t really know why this is so exciting to me, but it’s like that moment when you realize your kid is finally potty trained… or so I would imagine.

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I Love Surprising People

At a career fair on base this week, I had an opportunity in my ongoing pursuit to convince people that not all military spouses are stay-at-home moms (to reiterate: I’m not opposed to that, just not ready yet!) Granted, the fair was geared mostly to Marines looking to get out and enter the civilian world, but I still found myself almost instantly overlooked as a wife.

I approached one contractor’s bench and asked him if he had any positions available in the area. He smiled at me as if I was a high-school student asking the question, asked if I was active duty (“No, I’m a spouse”) and said, “Well ma’am, all our positions are for experienced professionals with security clearances at this time.”

I HAVE A SECURITY CLEARANCE, SUCKA!! Spouse does not automatically mean under-qualified! We all know what happens when you assume. I wish I had been ballsy enough to yell that  and smack my resume down right on top of his perfectly stacked business cards. But of course, the nice girl took over instead, opting to politely tell him I do have a clearance while I calmly walked away…

… But I didn’t turn away too late to notice the surprised and embarrassed expression on his face. Ha 🙂

This is what happens when your husband is in the field for 3 weeks and has his buddy pick things up from me to bring back to him: your manly stuff gets dolled up. Clearly I’m not afraid to embarrass him… lol 😉

P.S. Don’t worry though, there are some treats in there too. All his friends will actually be jealous…

(Taken with instagram)

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The Race Dialogue in America

I usually don’t speak up when it comes to divisive politics and social issues these days – especially when it comes to race, since I’m a privileged white girl and no one would listen to me anyway (har har.)

But in regards to the firestorm surrounding the unthinkable slaying of Trayvon Martin, I only have one thing to remind people amidst some of the oversimplified commentary I’ve read lately: racism is NOT a uniquely American problem, nor is it a uniquely white problem. Genocide, ethnic/racial/religious cleansing, and hate crimes have been perpetuated all over the world for thousands of years, by people of every color, against people of every color – to include (gasp) white Christian males. I don’t think I need to list examples here because – if you’ve ever picked up a history book – we all know it’s true.

Maybe it’s just the patriot in me getting defensive when I hear racism defined as an “American cancer.” I may not have travelled the world or studied every statistic, but I have been around and met enough very different kinds of people to know that prejudice hides in every corner, including in countries that are supposedly more liberal and progressive than our own (I do speak from experience there – it was surprising.)

Racism is an ugly thing, and maybe one day humanity will finally overcome it, so that tragedies like Trayvon Martin will never happen again. However, I strongly feel that for a country of over 300 million people to manage, America is still the most diverse and least segregated countries in the world. I wish the media wouldn’t pin this on the U.S. so exclusively, and recognize racism as the human problem that it really is.