military life

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2013: A Year in Review

Actually, I’d like to talk about more than just one year. Specifically, I want to talk about the past 3 years! Only because I feel as though 2014 is the beginning of a whole new era, and it’s rather unbelievable how much has happened in that relatively brief period of time. The events of those years have ultimately culminated into what I am feeling at this very moment, and captures an interesting combination of emotion, growth, and self-discovery that I know is not nearly finished yet.

In that time as a new wife between 2010 and 2013, I’ve been through two deployments, two work-ups, three less-than-desirable moves (about to do a fourth), and said goodbye to two really good jobs – not to mention friends, family, and ready access to some of my favorite things. Sure, I’ve dealt with a little resentment in the process (and probably still will from time to time), but I’ve also experienced things that have added new dimension to my life, in all kinds of ways that I like to think make me happier and more interesting than I was before. I worked in the medical community. I lived on the beach. I diversified my resume in the business community. I visited beautiful Southern cities and held baby tigers. I learned the inner workings of (and made a name for myself in) a whole new city. And with frequent moves and long separations, I learned my own strength. Essentially, the past few years have forced me to create opportunity for myself in new and unexpected ways.

Now, I’m about to embark on a new adventure with my husband and partner in crime. I can’t lie – the first few weeks after hearing the news were really difficult and full of inner turmoil, but now I am remarkably at peace with it. In fact, I am even excited about it, and look upon the move with inspiration and hope for the great (and even the not so great) experiences it will bring.

I do struggle with some things that come with being a military spouse (and I try not to struggle too much out loud), but the truth of the matter is that Chuck is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I love him and my little Annie Bean more than anything in the world. I know how rare and special it is to find that kind of love and family and adventure, and I want to be sure I never take that for granted, in 2014 and beyond…

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Too much spaghetti

Chuck always says that women have spaghetti brains, while men have waffle brains. Women can think of multiple things at once, and often manage to get them all tangled together as part of some complex relationship with random connections. Men prefer to compartmentalize, thinking of one (maybe two) things at one time, and often fail to make connections among them (because in their view, those connections likely don’t exist anyway.)

Lately I’ve been dealing with bouts of insomnia, and it’s totally due to my spaghetti brain. I am trying to process things that have already happened, and things that will happen soon. I will spare you the details of each and every noodle, but I will say that I am completely bipolar over this Japan thing.

One day, I can’t believe it’s happening – and the resentment bubbles up in me like an over-carbonated soft drink (sorry, I spent too much time at the Coke Museum yesterday…) The next day, I feel like if the orders were changed to somewhere else, it’ll be as if a unique opportunity was taken from me, and I jinxed it with negative thinking.

Much of the time, these switches can change from minute to minute, not even day to day! Oy vey, I need to relax. There’s nothing I can do about it anyway. It just makes me think harder about what I want for my (our) future, and how much control over it I’m willing to give up… Which only serves to start a whole new cycle of stressors..!

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Fresh Day, Fresh Perspective

So, today I’m thinking I overreacted to the news of us potentially moving to Okinawa. Now that I’ve allowed it to digest, I’m starting to see it as more of an adventure than a lost opportunity. Everything has its pros and cons, but I think it could be fun. It could certainly be better than moving to another dead-end American town, that’s for sure.

As for that “day-to-day” experience I was worried about – it may be a great time to finally pursue an online Masters degree. That way, when I re-enter the work force in 3 years, I won’t have totally lost my relevance…

Of course, I really shouldn’t be putting so much thought into this anyway. The military is notorious for changing its mind, and we don’t even have orders yet!

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Surprise…!

… we are moving to Okinawa.

Actually, we don’t have orders yet, so I am trying not to freak out more than I already have. In an unexpected, early announcement from Chuck’s monitor, we found out we are “slated” to move to Japan in the spring. This is not great news for either of us, but especially for me. What the heck am I going to do in Okinawa? 😦

There is still hope though – Chuck is going to call the monitor and see if we have any other choice. This was not even remotely on our list of preferences, and we are still wondering why we weren’t given any options in the first place (like everyone else we know has.)

I’m just… tired. Twice this year I’ve had my hopes up for something a little better around the corner, but things just keep getting worse. I hate to be dramatic – and yes, I’m sure I’ll find things to love and experiences to value in Okinawa, just like I did in NC and GA – but I don’t particularly want to spend the next three years of my life on a remote, isolated little military base in the middle of the Pacific…

Giant chocolate cake is in the oven…

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Tuesday…

This is the first full week I’ve had in a while where I have nothing big coming up, and I’m not recovering from anything just past. The next several weeks should be like that, which is kind of nice. Here’s a small life update:

  • Friday, we went to the PX to stalk Sarah Palin (not because we’re fans, but just because.) She was in town for a book signing. I was shocked at how many people showed up, especially women. I honestly didn’t think that many people liked her…
  • Saturday, Chuck went to the Marine Corps Ball, and I stayed home and watched Miss Universe. We figured it wasn’t worth $135 for us both to go to a party where we know no one. We’ve been to enough parties lately. Even Chuck was anxious to slip away.
  • Sunday we went to a local ice hockey game with another couple from Chuck’s class. That was really fun! I didn’t want to get attached to anyone while I’m here, but I’m getting increasingly fond of those two. Dang it! 🙂 
  • I’ve been to the gym a few more times with Chuck, but not as much as I’d like due to his schedule. I’m not quite ready to go on my own yet. I’m still getting the hang of the exercises and the machines, and a military base gym is rather intimidating. Way too many men being all beefy and making me feel uncomfortable. 
  • I’m noticing lately that I’m falling more nicely into the stay-at-home-wife routine than I was before. I hope I’m not getting addicted to sleeping in, being accountable to no one, etc. But it’s better than being overly anxious about it, I guess!
  • Season 3 of “Homeland” is awesome.
  • Chuck’s monitor asked for our top 3 picks for next duty station. I wish we could see a list of options, so we can pick 3 that may actually exist, but the good news is that MAYBE we will know where we are headed next by Christmas! 
  • We took the plunge and got a grown-up, rewards-based credit card. I’m pretty excited about it, and have had fun revamping our financial plan and our approach to making purchases. I only wish we had gotten it months ago, before we dropped thousands on weddings and a DITY move. C’est la vie! Speaking of which…
  • French is finally getting harder, and I’m loving it!

That’s pretty much it. My brain is feeling kind of warbled today (been battling a headache since 2 AM!) so I’m not even sure I’m making much sense. I can’t believe Thanksgiving is next week already – and Christmas is just about a month away! In some ways, time sure is flying…

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FITNESS Over FOOD…. HOOAH!

I love how the Commissaries are closed, but the Fitness Centers are open. You can stay fit during this shutdown, but you’re SOL if you need milk! Seriously though, it is pretty funny. I DO need milk, which I can’t get, but I surely can still hit up the gym!

Anyways! I actually went to “Butt & Guts” on Monday, which is about to be cancelled due to low participation. At first, I didn’t mind that fact – the class was pretty blah and I didn’t feel like anything was really all that intense. I could keep up with all the seasoned class buffs just fine…. But boy was I wrong!! My DEEP core is so sore, even two days later!! I’m really impressed, because ab exercises never make me sore. I actually wonder if secretly I’m doing them all wrong…but Monday, I must have done something right, even if I didn’t feel it at the time.

The class used a lot of “extras”, like weights, balls, body bars (?), etc., so it wouldn’t be super easy to replicate the workout at home (if I could even remember it – it was that boring.) But, it’s nice to know I can feel the pain in my abs after all. Maybe a different class will incorporate some of those moves? I’ll have to keep exploring the options!

I must say, however… yoga is still my fave…

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On a Roll Today…

Now that the move is over, and I’ve recovered from my trip to Mexico, I’m ready to get all sorts of productive with my time here. Or at least, come up with some sort of plan. I’m not going to push myself to find a job (though that would be nice if I could), so I’m trying to think of ways to stay entertained while I’m here.

It must be said that my biggest surprise in moving on base is how quiet it is. I figured most people would have kids (I’m the only childless spouse I’ve seen thus far), but I did not figure people would keep to themselves so much. There is a USMC wives’ event on the evening of the 19th, but I will be on a flight to CO at that point, so I’m gonna have to miss that… better luck next time.

Also, most of the guys Chuck is meeting at school actually chose to live in random places off base, which completely surprises me. I’d love to know the reasoning of dealing with a lease in an unknown area for 7 months, but I haven’t met any yet to ask.  But, the fact that everyone is pretty scattered probably means a less socially cohesive experience here than we had in NC…

So, things are looking a bit bleak in the friends department, but I am excited to meet up with a girl I knew very briefly in college, before she transferred out. She messaged me out of the blue to say she is temporarily living in Columbus and would love to meet up next weekend. Apparently her family lives here and is active in the community, so maybe she can hook me up with some volunteer work, at least!

In the meantime, I’ve been looking at base activities, even if they are mostly family-focused (i.e, for couples with kids.) I would look into retail work, but there are too many weekends I’m going to have to ask off, due to all the weddings this fall. No one will hire me if I ask for weekends off 🙂

Once I get the checkbook balanced and figure out where we stand, I am going to take the plunge and get Rosetta Stone. That will be something fun and educational to do on quiet days. After struggling with my crappy Spanish in Mexico, I’m more motivated than ever to get my French down before spring! It would have added a lot of value if I could have communicated better in Mexico, and most of them knew broken English!

I think I’ll also get a yoga mat, so I can do some exercise at home. I’m used to carpeting – definitely can’t do crunches on this cold, hard, nasty floor! 🙂

Overall, I’m trying not to get overly antsy, enjoy the lax schedule together with Chuck, and hang out with Miss Bean while making cupcakes again. Even if it gets super boring – it’s just 7 months… and 7 months WITH Chuck, rather than all by myself. Win!